快瘋掉了

我的ICP和Spanish 3沒救了
兩個都快掛了...
我真想要所有的一切快結束. 真的快受不了了.

My relationships are failing completely. My parents think I cherish my friends over them. That's what they conclude from what they see. What they don't see is that I have my little life outside of home too. It's not that I want to break apart from them and just leave without saying 'thank you', but I live in a current time where I want to be able to live my own life, without others controlling it. My friends probably think I cherish one friend over another. Everything's so tangled up in itself I just want everything to end.

To make things worse, it's everything I've done to myself. I've caused myself all this pain and frustration. All these cuts--this torn flesh. I can't even take care of my own self. How can I take care of others if my life is in its own dilemma?

I feel that I'm losing my mind...slowly bit by bit
It ticks away like that clock.
So loudly.
I don't want to be sent to a hospital.
I don't want those white rooms.
That empty feeling.
I don't want to die alone.

I want to cut deeper. I want to jump...but I can't die. I can't be so selfish as to take my own life.
Wasting my time.
My life.
I'm not going to the Frolic anymore.

--小欣